


Revelations and the Stars

by georgiou



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 16:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13907658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiou/pseuds/georgiou
Summary: The Battle of the Binary Stars left Philippa Georgiou and Michael Burnham with emotional scars that they try to heal in their own ways. Sadly, the Battle also left a void between the two women. Can they work it out or will they have to continue suffering the consequences of that day?





	1. Restlessness During Gamma Shift

Philippa Georgiou found herself wondering the deserted halls of the USS Shenzhou sometime during gamma shift.

After Philippa’s near death at “The Battle of the Binary Stars,” as Starfleet has called it, she started waking up in the middle of the night encompassed in a cold sweat and slightly out of breath. It seemed that even in her sleep the captain couldn't forget the memory of being stabbed in the chest by T’Kuvma. Although the Klingon _mek’leth _served its purpose of doing a significant amount of damage, Georgiou is a fighter and came through in the end.__

Despite her body healing with nothing more than a ragged battle scar to validate the trauma, Philippa's mind is incapable of forgetting. And this is precisely why she strolls down the newly repaired corridors of her ship— in hopes that mentally remarking the slight differences from ‘before’ will distract her from the sensation of the cold, double-sided dagger plunging into her chest. 

_She did it. As Philippa fought a losing battle against the Klingon leader and messiah, she heard the anguished scream come from the albino Klingon and glanced over to see Michael beginning to stand again. Philippa was greatly outmatched but she knew her Michael and she knew that she was figuring out how to help her captain. Suddenly, Philippa gained the upper hand with a quick slash behind T’Kuvma’s knees. This unexpected leverage plus Michael’s help that was soon to come meant that they could do it. They could win this and prevent an all-out war._

_Without warning her arm was being bent back at an abnormal angle leaving her exposed. Coldness and then a flaming sensation erupted from the center of her chest. The Captain looked down to the sight of a Klingon blade— that she is certain Michael known the name of— sticking out of her chest. She barely even registered the hole that burnt through her executioner as she collapsed onto her back, struggling for air._

It’s too late, _she thought. Her eyes could no longer focus, her lungs could not breathe properly, and her heart was aching in an attempt to pump blood. Her vision was beginning to darken and just as her perception was fully engulfed in inky blackness, she felt a tingling sensation from the top of her head to the tips of her toes._ Death, _she assumed._

The captain shakes herself out of her chilling reverie and stops in her tracks on the observation deck. To Philippa’s right, inside Observation Room 2, she eyes a figure that appears to be the ship’s current Science Specialist. Michael Burnham appears to be sitting near the large glass pane peering into space and, upon further observation, Philippa notices that Michael is cradling a hot mug in her slender hands. 

“Isn't it a little late to be drinking coffee, Michael?” Philippa teases as she strides into the room and takes a seat next to the younger woman. 

Since Michael’s discharge back to the Shenzhou three weeks prior, at the Highly Esteemed Captain Philippa Georgiou’s insistence, they still have not reconciled. The tension between the two was nearly palpable whenever they shared the same airspace. It wasn’t as though either of them were avoiding each other and having to talk about what happened, it was simply that in the midst of a war, neither had the time to spare.

 _But that ends now,_ Philippa silently declares. She hopes that some playful banter will help ease the strain that has only grown with the time that has passed.

“Indeed it would be, Captain. However, this is hot chocolate,” Michael replies with a slight smile gracing her features.

“Ah, my mistake… but you know you don't have to call me by my rank when we're off-duty.” Philippa is slightly disheartened at the fact that Michael feels like she must be formal around her, but at the same time, the captain sympathizes with the young woman who has been through judicial hell and back for her justifiable actions.

Michael momentarily refocuses her eyes to the stars before her, gazing with an air of nostalgia but also… something else… anxiety? Misery? Philippa couldn’t quite pinpoint the micro-emotions flickering on her former commander’s face. Michael turns back to face the other woman whom she trusts and admires with every fibre of her being.

Instead of voicing her true thoughts and concerns, Michael deflects: “Philippa... “ she tests the name on her lips after months, “would you like cup?” Michael raises her mug slightly to clarify. It’s odd for Starfleet’s one and only mutineer to feel deserving of that name gracing her lips. The name of the one she felt so much for and she almost lost her because of it.

Now it’s Georgiou’s turn to glance out at the universe as if it contained all the answers to the unspoken questions floating in the space between the two women.

“Yes,” she decides with a determined nod. She returns her gaze to Michael, “I would love one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is my first fanfiction in at least three years so please be kind and take that into consideration. I have more written to be uploaded once I proofread it. LLAP!


	2. Rekindling Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philippa and Michael adjust to each others' presence and reveal some truths.

The two women smile at each other for a moment before the younger of the two stands to make her way towards the replicator on the far wall. As Michael busied herself, Philippa rises from her seat as well to lean against the glass wall that kept them from floating in the cold, vast darkness of space. A similar darkness to that in which the captain remembered fading into on the deck of a Klingon warhead. Her willpower fading and blood seeping onto the metal floor beneath her.

Philippa is rescued from the grim path her mind was leading her down by a hand resting gingerly on her shoulder. She turns to see Michael patiently holding out a freshly replicated hot chocolate with a soft smile and warm, chocolate eyes.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Philippa gingerly asks “Or what’s the phrase you said…” she pondered.

“Isik for your thoughts,” Michael supplies. She is impressed and understandably touched by the older woman’s attention to the details of Michael’s speech. The younger woman discards that line of thought, _the chances of her feeling anything like that towards me again are quite slim,_ she muses.

“Precisely.” Philippa gives Michael a small smile that the younger woman is sure is warmer that their hot chocolates, had she an accurate way of measuring such a concept. “So…?”

“I—” Burnham starts but abruptly stops again. Rather than start to formulate a response again, she focuses her gaze out the observatory window, unrealistically expecting the stars to speak revelations to her.

Instead of filling the silence and risking interrupting the contemplation of her former pupil, Philippa remains mute and sips her hot chocolate— which it quite delicious for a replicated beverage. Georgiou takes this time to regard the woman next to her, the woman who has aged so much in the past few months but still manages to look youthful in her serenity.

The young woman to her right not only had the mind of a genius, she possessed the beauty of a goddess as well. Everything about Michael was a truly amazing sight to behold. From her creamy mocha skin, to the tight ebony coils of her hair; she looked divine, not matter the time of day or occasion. Philippa studied her lithe, but athletic figure, her dark, full lips, and the flawless outline of her face. 

The woman being observed was not aware of it, but this was not the first time her captain has taken the time to reflect on how much she appreciated her, how much of her thoughts were consumed by the vision to her right. Usually Phillipa attempted to remain inconspicuous about this, but today, after not being able to fully bask in her presence for what seemed like forever, today she would allow herself to indulge.

As much as Philippa adores all of what makes Michael Burnham everything she is, her eyes are are Philippa’s favourite part. Michael could mask her emotions stoically like any Vulcan, but her human biology shone though nonetheless. For the captain, Michael’s eyes always told her exactly how she was feeling. Not many could read the Vulcan-raised human in such a way, so those eyes are like a book that only Philippa can read.

Philippa could not see the eyes in question, but she had memorized them. They were a dark chestnut, almost onyx, and they could hold the magnitude of black holes and the depths of the oceans within them. When focused and determined, Michael’s eyes appeared as hard as obsidian, but on the rare occasion when she would allow herself to feel with her entire body, those eyes shone like they held galaxies. These eyes were more elegant than the ebony keys of a piano and had the ability to be as soft as velvet. Michael’s eyes told stories and revealed truths that her voice or facial expressions could never quite capture.

That’s why Philippa knew they needed to talk, she could see the conflict, the guilt, and the regret in Michael’s eyes.

“My mother— Amanda— used to make me hot chocolate whenever I was upset,” Michael said after a few minutes, breaking the silence but not tearing her gaze away from the window. “Whether it was because I was struggling with Vulcan society, school, or because I missed my birth parents, she would always make us hot chocolate and, when I was ready, we talked and worked out the issue.”

Philippa nodded in response, urging her to continue.

“We kept it a secret from Sarek, Sybok, and Spock so I didn’t feel different but as I got older I began to realize that Sarek must have known, to keep my brothers from interrupting,” she proceeded. “I learned to act more ‘Vulcan,’ I refused any human weaknesses and that included hot chocolate for comfort.

“I am sorry, Philippa.” Michael’s head turned to meet the eyes of the woman in question. “I did not listen to you, I attacked you, and I betrayed you. I was doing what I thought was right, what I thought would save you and the lives of our crew, but I ended up almost killing you in the process. That day… that day was my biggest regret and still is. I do not know what I would have done if you died, but my point is I am incredibly sorry and I deeply regret my past actions. Hurting you, Philippa, is a crime I will never forgive myself for.”

Instantly Philippa lays her hot chocolate on the end table and wraps her arms around Michael. “It’s okay Michael, I forgive you. I forgave you before we transported onto T’Kuvma’s warhead. You have nothing to feel guilty about, darling, it’s okay,” Philippa whispers as she cradles the trembling woman in her arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Michael whispers back, her voice cracking with emotion. Michael lets go and allows her body to be wracked with tremors. Philippa holds the younger woman until her body stills and the only sounds to be heard are quite gasps of air.

“I get nightmares,” Georgiou confesses, barely above a whisper, “I think about when I was stabbed and I truly did not think I was going to live. I am so glad I did, Michael. I know you can understand the feeling of nearly dying, and now I know just how terrifying it is. It haunts me. That’s why I was wandering the halls so late, as I do most nights recently.”

Michael lifts her head from Philippa’s shoulder and looks at this incredible, strong Captain who is still all of those things, even with these experiences burdening her.

“Thank you,” Michael says with awe and sadness both evident in her voice. “Thank you for forgiving me and trusting me. I know the feeling, the blacking out and not knowing if you will wake up or not, and you are right, it’s terrifying but Philippa, I promise you it will get better. One cup of hot chocolate at a time,” she finishes with a small smile gracing her features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so since I had it written and I don't believe my first chapter really captured what I was trying to get at, I decided to post the second chapter. I'm thinking I might add another chapter but I haven't started it yet. THANK YOU to all those who commented on the first chapter! (I wish I could like comments on here)


End file.
